Never seen the film, never going to. But this is the best review of a film I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading:
By way of background, Cruise played a spy (I think) who, for unexplained reasons, kept deliberately bumping into Diaz in the airport like a stalker. He then boarded an international flight which was almost empty. As it turned out, the only other passengers were assassins sent to kill him. However, in a cruel twist of fate, Diaz also boarded the flight. Cruise then killed all the assassins and landed the plane in a corn field which was very well done given that it was at night.
A farce ensued as he constantly drugged Diaz to get away from her and then they kept inexplicably meeting up in various locations around the world culminating in his parachuting them onto his own personal desert island and catching what appeared to be Tuna with his bare hands. They were safe on his personal island until she called her sister who was getting married. That was quite impressive not least because she managed to get mobile reception in the middle of the ocean. However, it caused bad things to happen.
The island was then attacked by what looked like a flying saucer before Cruise faked his own death and Diaz was captured by the assassins trying to kill Cruise. As it happened, it transpired that some kid who Cruise looked after had discovered an energy source which never needed replaced so they took a train to see the assassins to bargain for Diaz’s life with it. Cruise was shot while trying to protect the kid in an act of heroism but thankfully for everyone the energy source turned out to be very volatile and the assassins plane exploded as a result sorting everything out once and for all. Cruise survived his gunshot wound to the heart with no difficulty.
All in 1 hour 40 mins of cinema.
